The First Worcestershire Literary Festival

By Herefordshire Life on July 12th 2011

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Worcestershire Literary Festival had more than a little sauce, thanks to the appointment of Theo Theobald as county Poet Laureate, a wide range of spoken word events and activities, book signings, talks and the Worcestershire Poetry Slam Championship Competition, won by Fergus McGonigal. More than 100 events were held across the county in 38 different venues over the 10 days of the festival. Participants included Birmingham Poet Laureate Roy McFarlane, Sebastian Peake (son of Mervyn Peake talking about his father’s work), Nicci French, Anita Sharma-James, Lucy Worsley of BBC 4, Victoria Connelly, John Cooper Clarke, Attila the Stockbroker and many more.  

Festival founder and Director Lisa Ventura said: “We embraced and encompassed as many different kinds of writing as possible and as many different genres as possible during the first ever festival and gave local and regional writers and readers a voice and a platform from which to perform their work. The WLF is as much about discovering new talent as it is about giving named writers a platform and for our first festival we had an excellent mix of local, regional and known names.”

The 2012 Literary Festival will run from  June 15 to 24. If you would like to volunteer, participate or put on an event, contact the organisers at  info@worcslitfest.com or  telephone 01905 24435.

Worcetershire's First Poet Laureate

Theo Theobald, from Bromsgrove, shook off nine other finalists at the festival launch event at Worcester Cathedral to take the title of Worcestershire’s first Poet Laureate.

His two poems, Worcestershire Sauce, (in which he recommends its qualities as an aphrodisiac, cure-all and stain remover) and I’m In Love With The Girl From H&M, wooed the audience and the judging panel. Fergus McGonigal from Redditch came second and Heather Wastie from Kidderminster was third.

WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE!

By Theo Theobald

I feel duty bound to inform you, of a great Worcestershire tour-de-force
Which comes in the shape of a bottle, of Messrs Lea and Perrin’s fine sauce

A culinary staple, tops chefs all agree, it transforms Heinz spaghetti hoops
It adds zip to the dullest of stew and puts zing in the thinnest of soups

It beefs up a bourguignon, stokes up a stew, ‘magnifique’ in a French coq au vin
But that’s not the half of it let me tell you, why I have become such a fan

The magical properties of L & P reach infinity and far beyond
The spell it can cast with one single dash is more powerful than Dumbledore’s wand!

Add a splash to your bath and then you will find your complexion will most likely become soft and silky, quite milky and not so unlike the skin on a new-born babe’s bum

A dab or a dot judiciously applied is a must if you want shiny shoes
I’ve even heard said at a push it’ll  take the stones from poor lame  horses hooves

Like Lily the Pink’s medication, it’s efficacious in every case
It exfoliates blotchy and scabby old skin and removes unsightly spots  from your face

It’s better than Botox for making you young, if you’re short it’ll make you look tall
Got the vapours or ague? The brown stuff will cure you, even rid you of your warts and all

When you’re sick as a pig with that awful swine flu, a drop of the brown’s what you need
Keep a stock in your shed, because it’s been said, it’ll even shift stubborn weeds

Take the ring off the bath and then just for a laugh pour a slug of it into your drains
Kill one hundred percent of all known germs and then use it to purge stubborn stains

Slip a nip to your wife to perk up her love life, but take care as you head off for bed
It will also enhance your ‘zones of romance’, just a drop fills your pencil with lead

Lea and Perrin’s the one if you  want to win, against odds that seem  to be dire
The reason is plain for its origins are in this great county of Worcestershire

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